Monday, November 29, 2010

Manhood

Most men have a sense of pride below the belt.  Some men who have pride definitely should not.  Then there are those who have only a sense of shame.  A penis that is attractive- large, veiny, thick, rock hard- is what any smart woman desires.  If its' less than 8 inches and 3 inches around, its not even worth fucking.  But oh how hard I cum when I fuck a real man.  I don't even waste my time anymore with losers. I spare myself the fake orgasm and send them home blue balled because I've got standards and I don't have to go that low.  I deserve a man who can be proud of his manhood, not ashamed of it.

A penis that is short, stubby, bent, white, soft, thin- utterly undesireable.  Without the length and the girth what am I supposed to feel?  I might as well use my pinky finger to masturbate, I'd get more satisfaction.  I can only imagine how utterly humiliating it must be for a man to hear the words "Is it in yet?". Hehehe.  But to see a man cringe and run away like a scalded dog with his tail between his legs- priceless!

Do yourself a favor- go look in the mirror at your naked body. Think about the last time you got laid.  Oh what's that? You haven't been ?  That's why your right hand is so raw huh.  Looks like someone has a little rug burn on his wiener too.  Disgraceful. See you have such a small penis that NO woman wants it.  Put yourself in her shoes- would you have sex with you?  Didn't think so.  

*Dedicated to Lipstick Boy- the man who could fit his entire cock in a tiny tube of lipstick.  Here is your pity fuck. 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

7 or Better

Size Matters!


There’s a new online dating site for those women who think size definitely matters. 7OrBetter.com only accepts men who are packing at least seven inches of artillery. The site was conceived under the premise that women want to know what their date is working with before investing too much wasted time. But they can’t exactly ask for that info on the first or second date—so now they can know upfront. But don’t expect any sleazy talk or nudity—because the members are supposed to be “quality” people looking for a “quality” relationship. So, I’m guessing it’s like an eHarmony for above-average men? The one plus is that the site is free. The biggest negative? There are probably about 10 guys for every 1,000 women. There’s no explanation as to how the site guarantees the men’s size, but let’s hope girth is measured, as well as length, because pencils are about as much fun as a stubby crayon.


Mind Of Man: Size Doesn’t Matter

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Penis Size Doesn't Matter
If there’s one thing I’ve learned writing these columns, it’s that you ladies have penis on the brain. Which is why I’m going to admit that my penis is so huge, so gargantuan, that when I get excited, I barely have enough skin with which to whistle. Seriously. It’s like three grapefruits in a gym sock. Trash bags are my preferred prophylactic. I ain’t bragging or nothin’.
Does size really matter? How do you know your vagina isn’t all floppy? I knew a dude once who described sleeping with a woman as “driving a hatchback through the Lincoln Tunnel.” I am convinced y’all make so much of a fuss about size as a passive-aggressive way to get back at dudes who you perceive as judging you solely by your boobs, waist, and butt. But when it comes to sex, good sex, bite-mark-on-the-shoulder sex, we are the sum of our physical, and emotional, parts. Otherwise, you’re not having sex. You’re just slapping bits.
I honestly don’t know what the Penis Fairy bequeathed unto me, but I’ve either been told it’s superbly average, or that it’s like the third Bear’s bowl of porridge – just right. 
It strikes me as weird and creepy, the way men and women rate, judge, and obsess over body parts like the old Greek women in my neighborhood who cluck and molest fresh produce. It’s almost serial killer-like, as if we’ve all got our favorite organs chilling in a fridge. Don’t get me wrong. I love curves, piercing peepers, and a big ol’ badonkadonk. But I don’t stroll around with a clipboard, checking boxes like the USDA Inspector of Love.
Men are rightfully insecure about the size of their packages, and there’s an entire industry built around assuaging these inadequacies. Pumps, pills, ointments, and surgery are options, and they don’t work. A former co-worker once admitted to me that he had been taking “Male Enhancement” drugs—but, you know, not that he needed them. (Why do people tell me these things?) They were just helping him grow from elephantine to wooly mammoth-esque. And all I could feel was bro’ pity: They’re just placebos. Fake confidence, I suppose, but confidence nonetheless. And confidence is the not-so-secret secret of quality boot-knocking.
I realize I’m probably not qualified to talk about size mattering, in that all of you have vaginas, and I, to date, do not. Personally, I roll like I’ve got a straight-up thumb dick. Honestly, I don’t know what the Penis Fairy bequeathed unto me, but I’ve been told it’s superbly average and that it’s like the third bear’s bowl of porridge – just right. Most men know what I’m talking about. Overconfidence makes your game weak. If you play like you’re not packing maximum ordnance, you are more willing, eager, even, to perform to please.
And pleasing is the whole point. It’s clear to me that there are guys who act like a crowbar dangles between their legs (even though most dudes who swing like that have straight up Napoleon Genital Complex) and dudes who don’t care either way. Because we can get you off a dozen different ways. We will ninja bone you. Whisper unspeakably filthy secrets one moment, then leave you giggling, and suddenly there’s a burst of smoke and the next thing you know your nipples are lit fuses, red claw marks paint your back, and you’re getting that feeling you get when you throw your hands up right as the rickety roller coaster gives into gravity. By this point, size doesn’t matter.
Perhaps women who obsess over Goliath tube and dudes who demand giant hoots deserve each other. Because, most likely, they’re control freaks who can’t let go and let their lover crawl under their skin. To these people, sex is purely decorative, a point of pride, a way of inflating the ego. It is totally lost on them how the very point of living this sometimes crummy life is the glorious abandon that comes from growling, blushing, and sighing naked with someone who doesn’t see the forest for the trees. The sexy forest? You know what I’m talking about. 

Who am I kidding!! Of course size matters- the bigger dick = bigger orgasm. End of discussion!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Would It Be Different?

Would a Bigger one make a Difference?

I recently have been getting letters from WOMEN asking me about their level of satisfaction and what they should do about it.  I thought maybe I'd start to feature this in my blog .  Imagine that, Dear Abby becomes Dear Frankie.  We'll start with our first letter from Jane.

This is an embarassing question, but I could use your expertise. My husband is concerned he isn..t large enough. His penis is 5 in. long and about 1.5 in. wide when he is erect.
It is true I have a difficult time having an orgasm during regular sex but I have very strong orgasms from oral or manual stimulation.  Some of my friends feel "size" has made a difference in thier experiences. My only sexual experience has been with my husband so I don..t know what to think. He is thinking about going to plastic surgeon to have a penis enlargement. He read about it in a medical magazine. Do you think this will make a difference? Is 5in. normal size or is it small? How much bigger can the surgeon make his penis? Is it worth surgery? Sometimes I am frustrated after sex. It isn..t a problem of forplay, we take  our time and I..m ready when we begin intercourse, but I just can..t reach an orgasm. Would a larger penis make a difference? Thank you
            

Jane,
In taking a look at the problem systematically, this is my research and what I have found.


     The average size of a man..s penis is generally between seven and eight inches in length; the average girth is around 1.5-2.5 inches. Penile enhancement surgery is a very controversial issue. It has not been scientifically shown that such surgeries improve men..s sexual function or self esteem.  Pills would be safer to if nothing else enhance his erection At best this surgery can increase the width of the penis by 1/2 inch, but does little for length. However, these surgically improved penises tend to have an unusual appearance post surgery which cause many men great distress and disappointment. And more importantly, your disappointment.  How disheartening to go through all that work and find out that it wasn't going to give you what you wanted.
Most women report that different size penises do feel differently. But, the majority also report they do not achieve orgasm with intercourse (penile thrusting alone). Stimulation of the clitoris (introitus), which after all is some distance from the vaginal opening, is required to produce orgasm.
Most women are like you; they can easily achieve orgasm with manual or oral stimulation, but less frequently achieve orgasm with intercourse. Many of these women require clitoral stimulation during intercourse to achieve orgasm. This is because the angle of insertion does not produce sufficient pressure and stimulation to the clitoral tissues to induce orgasm. A larger penis is likely to provide more clitoral stimulation than a smaller penis. And more likely to hit the g-spot upon pounding you hard and deep.  So Yes, a Bigger one DOES make a difference!
For all these reasons we do not recommend that your husband undergo this controversial procedure. Perhaps, you should see a sex therapist or review some literature or a video on sexual techniques to help you stimulate during vaginal intercourse.    My favorite suggestion however, is from the cuckold mistress side of me. Here's what you do.  Go on craigs list, find a man in casual encounters interested in a "cuckold" relationship.  Tell your hubby that you're just going to sleep with other men who DO better than you in bed.  Having the hub watch Nina Hartmans Guide to Cunnilingus and Fellatio.  Teach him how he can please you, if its eating you , sucking off your new boy toy, restricting his masturbation.  You can enhance your sexual relationship much easier than you may think.    

Friday, November 26, 2010

Weakness

My Weakness

Who would have thought a dominant mistress such as myself would have a weakness.  I do though, believe it or not.  The only thing that turns me on as much as humiliating little prick losers like you is being treated like a slut for some massive cock.

I encountered a Master. He told me about how he hypnotizes women so not only to control them physically, but mentally. How sexy is that.  Learning to let go of all inhibitions and placing your thoughts and mind in someone else's hands.

Master had a 9..5 inch penis. Mmmm. I almost get weak in the knees at the thought of it.  C'mon on boys, you know that "its not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean" is complete bs.

I indulged in having another man control me.  It was interesting to see how I react when someone does challenge my strength as a mistress.  What was it like? You'll have to call me to find out. Silly boy , you.